Tv blabs, movie blabs, book blabs. Lots of blab, but no flab.

Tuesday, June 1


I'll start with a small disclaimer. I wasn't looking forward to seeing this film at all.

With that out, I had a few hours to fill yesterday afternoon so I decided to give it a chance. How can I truthfully say that I don't like a film unless I've seen it. I was hoping to be surprised.

I wasn't.

I am a fan of the big blockbuster type film usually. This film didn't live up to any of the loose standards of that category.

I'll start at the beginning.


Brad Pitt, big name for pulling audiences, average actor who needs to consider a vocal coach to make him not sound like Brad Pitt in all of his roles. He only barely covered his American accent.

I had the same issue with Eric Bana, an Australian who also barely covered his accent.

Orlando Bloom was fine as the womanising Paris, not a big stretch.

Brian Cox as Agamemnon couldn't have looked more out of place.

Rose Byrne shined as normal.

Peter O'Toole was the saviour of the cast. If not for him I would have left mid film.

Visual Effects

Usually the normal practice is to make visual effects as realistic as possible so you believe what your seeing is real. I think Troy missed that memo, because the effects for the most part were blurry and very noticeable. After seeing 'The Day After Tomorrow' last week (see future post) the effects of Troy are on par with 'Harry Potter and The Philosophers Stone'.


Now the potential for an intense drama was surely obvious, instead I found myself not caring about the characters and what happened to them. Nearly everything that they were put through was forced and clunky.

I couldn't help but laugh when Boromir, sorry Odysseus, suddenly had this epiphany about the Horse. Having shown no potential for genius prior to that.

Big Battles

Ok, Lord of the Rings is a lot to live up to. Troy isn't in the same league as Rings in big battles. The first two battles were so messily edited that I was bored. I was so unimpressed by them I considered getting out my phone and playing games.

Saving Grace?

Now after about 2 hours or so we come to the fight between Achilles and Hector. From no where comes a very good fight scene followed by a series of believable-ish emotional scenes, concluded with the acceptable destruction of Troy. If the opening sequence had had the same impact as the fight between Achilles and Hector maybe I would not have the feeling I wasted 3 hours of my life.

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